Before people want to hear what you say, they want to know that you care.

人们要先感受到你的关心，才乐意听你的建议。

To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his. 

Job 12:13

在上帝有智慧和能力，祂有谋略和知识。-约伯记12章13节

In desperation, a woman called the housing assistance center where I worked. A heating problem had turned her rental home into a freezer with furniture. Panicked, she asked me how she would care for her children. I hurriedly replied with the scripted official response: “Just move into a hotel and send the landlord the bill.” She angrily hung up on me.

有位女市民在情急之下，拨电话到我任职的住宅服务中心。她租的房子暖气出了问题，整个房子冷得就像是个大冰柜。她急切地问我，她和孩子们该怎么办。我不假思索地给了她官方答覆：“请暂时入住饭店，再把帐单寄给房东。”她气得马上挂上电话。

I knew the textbook answer to her question, but I had completely missed her heart. She wanted someone to understand her fear and desperation. She needed to know she wasn’t alone. In essence, I had left her out in the cold.

我知道如何照本宣科地回答她的问题，但却完全忽略她的感受。她希望有人了解她的担忧与无助，她要知道自己并不是孤立无援。然而，我却对她冷漠无情。

After Job had lost everything, he had friends with answers but little understanding. Zophar told him all he needed to do was live wholeheartedly for God. Then “life will be brighter than noonday,” he said (11:17). That counsel wasn’t well received, and Job responded with scathing sarcasm: “Wisdom will die with you!” (12:2). He knew the dissatisfying taste of textbook answers to real-world problems.

在约伯失去一切后，他的朋友给他许多答案，却少了同理心。琐法告诉约伯，只要约伯全心为上帝而活，那么约伯“在世的日子要比正午更明” (11章17节) 。对于朋友这样的说法，约伯无法接受，并以讽刺口吻说：“你们死亡，智慧也就灭没了” (12章2节) 。约伯深深体会照本宣科的答案，并不能回答真实生活的问题。

It’s easy to be critical of Job’s friends for their failure to see the big picture. But how often are we too quick with answers to questions we don’t truly understand? People do want answers. But more than that, they want to know we hear and understand. They want to know we care.

我们要批评约伯的朋友弄不清楚状况很容易，但我们不也是常常在还未了解问题的来龙去脉之前，就不假思索地给予对方答案吗？的确，人都需要答案。但更重要的是，他们需要有人倾听与了解，他们要知道我们关心他们。

Father, help us to be a friend first 

before we offer advice to others. 

Thank You for the privilege of sharing 

our hearts with You in prayer. 

Thank You for sending us Your Holy Spirit 

so that we will never be alone.

天父，求祢帮助我们在给予别人建议之前，
先成为他们的朋友。谢谢祢，
让我们能在祷告里向祢倾心吐意。
也谢谢祢赐下圣灵，使我们永不孤单。

Read：Job 11:7-20New International Version (NIV)

7 “Can you fathom the mysteries of God?
    Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?
8 They are higher than the heavens above—what can you do?
    They are deeper than the depths below—what can you know?
9 Their measure is longer than the earth
    and wider than the sea.

10 “If he comes along and confines you in prison
    and convenes a court, who can oppose him?
11 Surely he recognizes deceivers;
    and when he sees evil, does he not take note?
12 But the witless can no more become wise
    than a wild donkey’s colt can be born human.[a]

13 “Yet if you devote your heart to him
    and stretch out your hands to him,
14 if you put away the sin that is in your hand
    and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
15 then, free of fault, you will lift up your face;
    you will stand firm and without fear.
16 You will surely forget your trouble,
    recalling it only as waters gone by.
17 Life will be brighter than noonday,
    and darkness will become like morning.
18 You will be secure, because there is hope;
    you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
19 You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,
    and many will court your favor.
20 But the eyes of the wicked will fail,
    and escape will elude them;
    their hope will become a dying gasp.”

约伯记 11:7-20 Chinese Union Version Modern Punctuation (Simplified) (CUVMPS)

7 “你考察，就能测透神吗？你岂能尽情测透全能者吗？ 8 他的智慧高于天，你还能做什么？深于阴间，你还能知道什么？ 9 其量比地长，比海宽。 10 他若经过，将人拘禁，招人受审，谁能阻挡他呢？ 11 他本知道虚妄的人，人的罪孽，他虽不留意，还是无所不见。 12 空虚的人却毫无知识，人生在世好像野驴的驹子。

劝其屏远罪恶

13 “你若将心安正，又向主举手—— 14 你手里若有罪孽，就当远远地除掉，也不容非义住在你帐篷之中—— 15 那时你必仰起脸来，毫无斑点，你也必坚固，无所惧怕。16 你必忘记你的苦楚，就是想起也如流过去的水一样。 17 你在世的日子要比正午更明，虽有黑暗仍像早晨。 18 你因有指望就必稳固，也必四围巡查，坦然安息。 19 你躺卧，无人惊吓，且有许多人向你求恩。 20 但恶人的眼目必要失明，他们无路可逃，他们的指望就是气绝。”

整理：于姊妹