心理学家查尔斯·罗沃利博士（Charles Lowery）向友人诉说他饱受腰痛之苦，期待获得同情的眼光。不料，友人却直言不讳地说：“你的问题不在腰痛，而是你的肚子，你的肚子太大了，增加了腰椎的压力，难怪会腰痛。”

In his column for REV! Magazine, Charles shared that he resisted the temptation to be offended. He lost the weight and his back problem went away. Charles recognized that “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted” (Prov. 27:5–6).

查尔斯在他的杂志专栏，提到他当时压抑了不悦的负面情绪。然而他努力减重之后，腰痛果真不药而愈。查尔斯认识到“当面的责备，强如背地的爱情。朋友加的伤痕，出于忠诚”（箴言27章5-6节）。

The trouble is that so often we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism, for truth hurts. It bruises our ego, makes us uncomfortable, and calls for change.

令人忧心的是，我们往往宁愿接受赞美而招损，却不愿接受指正而受益。因为实话伤人，让我们的自尊心受损，心里不舒服，而且还要我们改变。

True friends don’t find pleasure in hurting us. Rather, they love us too much to deceive us. They are people who, with loving courage, point out what we may already know but find hard to truly accept and live by. They tell us not only what we like to hear but also what we need to hear.

真正的朋友不会把快乐建筑在我们的痛苦上，他们乃是爱之深、责之切。他们鼓起勇气凭爱心说诚实话，指出我们不肯正视的盲点。朋友不只是赞美鼓励，也谏言劝诫。

Solomon honored such friendship in his proverbs. Jesus went further—He endured the wounds of our rejection not only to tell us the truth about ourselves but to show us how much we are loved. 

所罗门在箴言中，推崇这种友谊。然而，耶稣更远胜于良友。祂忍受遭人钉死的苦难，这不仅让我们诚实地面对自己，更向我们表明祂是多么深爱着我们。

Think of a time when a friend said something honest that caused you pain. Did it benefit you? Is it wise to accept everything our friends tell us?

5 Better is open rebuke
    than hidden love.

6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,
    but an enemy multiplies kisses.

7 One who is full loathes honey from the comb,
    but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.

8 Like a bird that flees its nest
    is anyone who flees from home.

9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,
    and the pleasantness of a friend
    springs from their heartfelt advice.

10 Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family,
    and do not go to your relative’s house when disasterstrikes you—
    better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.