When worry walks in, strength runs out. But strength returns when we run to God.

忧愁使人软弱无力，但转向上帝，就能重新得力。

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Psalm 139:23

上帝啊，求祢鉴察我，知道我的心思；试炼我，知道我的意念。-诗篇139篇23节

The day my husband, Dan, and I began our caregiving journey with our aging parents, we linked arms and felt as if we were plunging off a cliff. We didn’t know that in the process of caregiving the hardest task we would face would be to allow our hearts to be searched and molded and to allow God to use this special time to make us like Him in new ways.

自从我和丈夫丹恩开始负责照顾年老体弱的双亲，每天我们都需要互相扶持，如履薄冰。照料生活无法自理的父母的确很不容易，出乎我们意料之外的是，在这段亲身照顾双亲的期间，最难以面对的事情，竟是让上帝鉴察并试炼我们的心思，并让祂用这段特殊时期使我们可以更像祂。

On days when I felt I was plunging toward earth in an out-of-control free-fall, God showed me my agendas, my reservations, my fears, my pride, and my selfishness. He used my broken places to show me His love and forgiveness.

有些时候，我会觉得十分沮丧烦躁，犹如处在毫无止境的黑暗深渊，上帝就让我看见自己的动机、顾虑、恐惧、高傲和自私。上帝让我从自己的软弱，看见祂的慈爱和赦免。

My pastor has said, “The best day is the day you see yourself for who you are—desperate without Christ. Then see yourself as He sees you—complete in Him.” This was the blessing of caregiving in my life. As I saw who God had created me to be, I turned and ran weeping into His arms. I cried out with the psalmist: “Search me, God, and know my heart” (Ps. 139:23).

我的牧师曾经说过：“当你看到自己不靠基督时的软弱和不足，并看到自己可以靠着基督得以刚强，这时候你就会觉得生活还是很美好。”这是我从照顾双亲的经验中所得着的祝福。我看见自己虽然软弱，但上帝造我是要我倚靠祂，祂要给我能力，这时我不禁流泪转而投入祂的怀里，像诗人一样呼求：“上帝啊，求祢鉴察我，知道我的心思。”（诗篇139篇23节）

This is my prayer for you—that as you see yourself in the midst of your own circumstances, you will turn and run into the open, loving, and forgiving arms of God.

我祈盼若你也处在艰难的环境中，也能清楚地认识自己，转而投入上帝充满慈爱和宽容的怀抱。

Gracious Father, I recognize today my 

desperate need of Your love, wisdom, and grace. 

Search me and know me. 

Pour out Your grace and mercy in my life

 to bring healing to my heart.

慈悲怜悯的天父，今天我渴求祢的慈爱、
智慧和恩典。求祢鉴察我，知道我的心思。
求祢以慈爱和恩典浇灌我，使我的心得医治。

Psalm 139:17-24New International Version (NIV)

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
    Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
    your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord,
    and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
    I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

诗篇 139:17-24Chinese Union Version Modern Punctuation (Simplified) (CUVMPS)

恩惠无穷

17 神啊，你的意念向我何等宝贵！其数何等众多！

18 我若数点，比海沙更多。我睡醒的时候，仍和你同在。
19 神啊，你必要杀戮恶人。所以你们好流人血的，离开我去吧！
20 因为他们说恶言顶撞你，你的仇敌也妄称你的名。
21 耶和华啊，恨恶你的，我岂不恨恶他们吗？攻击你的，我岂不憎嫌他们吗？
22 我切切地恨恶他们，以他们为仇敌。
23 神啊，求你鉴察我，知道我的心思；试炼我，知道我的意念。
24 看在我里面有什么恶行没有，引导我走永生的道路。

整理：于姊妹